I’ve been trying to figure out a way to encourage B (3 years old) to help out around the house without making it a requirement. Six months ago I’d ask B “Do you want to fill up Max’s water bowl for me?” “Ok, sure!”. Now I get “No thanks, you can do it.”. So we brainstormed “Ways to Help My Family.”
Together we brainstormed ways he could help his family and we made a list. I told him he could put an X (he changed that to a circle) each time he helps with one of these things and when the whole page is filled up he could pick something fun to do (park, lunch date, game, etc.).
Well, it didn’t work! Sometimes he is all about helping out, but the other times he really isn’t interested even with the incentives. Today I said, “B, do you want to feed Max for me and then you can cross it off on your chart?”. He responded with, “No, I already crossed that off the other day so you can just do it.”.
Any suggestions?
Anonymous
Wednesday 11th of January 2012
We got a magnet chart for my 3 year old at Christmas this year. It has 10 lines on it and you can get a magnet each day of the week. He has things like set the table, feed the dog, brush your teeth, say please / thank you and no hitting on it so they are not all jobs. We have not had an issue yet with him doing his jobs. Last week he was short 6 magnets for the week (out of 70) We told him if he can get it full then he could pick a fun day ;)
Karla
Sunday 12th of June 2011
Reading your post, I thought the chart was a great idea. The one thing that kept sticking out to me was you saying you ASK your son if he wants to do such and such. Well, I myself have learned not to ask...it gives them too much opportunity to say "no"! Ha ha! I only ask when I truly am giving them a choice. Most of the time I just tell them that it's time to do such and such. I hear my husband "ask" the children if they want to to whatever it is he wants them to do at the time, and hearing someone else ask, I can hear how it sounds to the child. He wants them to do it, but because he asked them, they think there's a choice in there, when he doesn't intend for there to be. He's trying to "be nice" I think, but I think it tends to create confusion for the child when he "asks" rather than simply state. I do notice that he gets much quicker and direct results when he tells them he wants them to do something rather than asks if they would like to do something. Perhaps you might see if directly telling him to do something would get him to help more often, and only ASK him when he truly are giving him the option to say 'no"? It'll all work out. 3 is a bit of an independent age, and I think your son just likes having the option to say "no". :-)
MaggieK
Saturday 22nd of May 2010
Even at 5 we have that problem with Brady and Star / activity charts. Now he will be all about it for a few days - maybe a week and then we see it go downhill from there.
Smaller more immediate *reward* may work better (like if you do three things you can pick something special for dinner or a special book tv show / activity before bed).
Heather
Saturday 22nd of May 2010
Sounds like my boy! If I make it a race and set the timer he is more willing to help out!
Following from Mom Loop! come see me too when you have a chance!http://realhousewifeofatlanta.blogspot.com
Sela
Friday 21st of May 2010
Lovin all the comments!With my daughter, who is 3, it's all about stickers. She had 6 things on her chart, which I change up when she finishes one chart. Then she gets to put a sticker on the chart when she does it. She also gets one sticker for her shirt per day, usually when we do the first sticker for her chart. When her chart's all full, she gets to pick a new toy. That's what's currently working for us. Good luck!Go to http://selaandfamily.blogspot.com/2010/01/mommy-monday-sticker-chart.html to see what we did :)